FOUR WAYS
TO OVERCOME JEALOUSY
TO OVERCOME JEALOUSY
Negative feelings can hinder a person from succeeding in the world. One of these feelings is jealousy. When you experience jealousy, your mind loses its equilibrium, inhibiting an adequate response to what is happening.
Jealousy creates conflict in your relationships, fosters an unfortunate mentality, and impedes the ability to learn from others and adopt their positive experiences.
Jealousy creates conflict in your relationships, fosters an unfortunate mentality, and impedes the ability to learn from others and adopt their positive experiences.
Instead of actively moving forward, a person becomes static, dominated by the idea that "everyone around me is bad, and I’m the only good one."
The feeling of jealousy hampers meditation because even if there is no explicit feeling of jealousy during meditation, a negative wave remains in the depths of the mind, making it very difficult to touch the subtle realm. Jealousy and negative thinking are closely connected.
In the Yoga Sutras, Patanjali described four methods to get rid of jealousy by replacing negative thinking with positive. By regularly practicing them, a person's mind gradually becomes pure and radiant.
In the Yoga Sutras, Patanjali described four methods to get rid of jealousy by replacing negative thinking with positive. By regularly practicing them, a person's mind gradually becomes pure and radiant.
The first method - maitri
Maitri means cultivating friendliness towards happy, joyful people.
Sometimes, someone else's joy, activity, success, and happiness evoke negative emotions and irritate a person greatly. A good practice to counter this is to elevate the mind, creating a positive wave in it through thoughts like, "This person is my friend. I am glad that everything is going well for him. I am happy that he is happy and everything is smooth for him. He is my friend, he is my friend, he is my friend." Seeing another person as a friend means seeing that person as "part of you." This practice calms the mind; the other person stops being a "hook" for your jealousy.
A whole system of affirmation practices exists: cultivating a friendly attitude, striving to encompass all beings with feelings of care, love, and participation in this world. As another example: "I want everyone to be happy, I want everyone to be well."
So, if someone else's happiness and joy evoke negativity in you, it is necessary to cultivate maitri.
Maitri means cultivating friendliness towards happy, joyful people.
Sometimes, someone else's joy, activity, success, and happiness evoke negative emotions and irritate a person greatly. A good practice to counter this is to elevate the mind, creating a positive wave in it through thoughts like, "This person is my friend. I am glad that everything is going well for him. I am happy that he is happy and everything is smooth for him. He is my friend, he is my friend, he is my friend." Seeing another person as a friend means seeing that person as "part of you." This practice calms the mind; the other person stops being a "hook" for your jealousy.
A whole system of affirmation practices exists: cultivating a friendly attitude, striving to encompass all beings with feelings of care, love, and participation in this world. As another example: "I want everyone to be happy, I want everyone to be well."
So, if someone else's happiness and joy evoke negativity in you, it is necessary to cultivate maitri.
The second practice – karuna.
Karuna means compassion. For example, someone experiences troubles, and you catch yourself thinking, "I told you so! God sees everything! He deserves it! He created his own problems." That is, instead of offering compassion, you gloat. This is a corrosive, unpleasant quality that destroys, among other things, the ability to concentrate in meditation.
Compassion is empathy that you can cultivate within yourself. Ask yourself: "Would I like to be in such an unpleasant situation myself? Can I wish it on someone else? No. I don't want anyone to experience something like this."
A good practice of compassion is embodied in an ancient mantra that the Guru blessed disciples with:
Karuna means compassion. For example, someone experiences troubles, and you catch yourself thinking, "I told you so! God sees everything! He deserves it! He created his own problems." That is, instead of offering compassion, you gloat. This is a corrosive, unpleasant quality that destroys, among other things, the ability to concentrate in meditation.
Compassion is empathy that you can cultivate within yourself. Ask yourself: "Would I like to be in such an unpleasant situation myself? Can I wish it on someone else? No. I don't want anyone to experience something like this."
A good practice of compassion is embodied in an ancient mantra that the Guru blessed disciples with:
May everyone be happy. May everyone be physically and mentally healthy. May everyone see the bright side in everything. And may no one have to overcome any difficulties under pressure from circumstances.
So to neutralize the feeling of taking satisfaction in another’s suffering, you need to cultivate karuna - compassion.
The third practice – mudita.
Mudita is all-encompassing joy, the ability to sincerely rejoice in the good deeds, happiness, and success of others, those who are successful, possess extraordinary qualities, or have a special ability to achieve good results.
Often, thoughts arise about such people: "Of course, he just got lucky, he doesn't deserve it." Instead of joy at a person's abilities, there is a desire to blame him for his great luck. Sometimes people do get lucky. And it cannot be said that if a person is good at something, then they are perfect in everything. But we’re talking here about the habit of ignoring a person's virtues and emphasizing their shortcomings.
It is very important to remember here: what you think about, you become. You choose what to focus on. Your essence can literally become anger, sin, or hatred - all those shortcomings you emphasize in another person. But if you see success, balance, diligence, and perseverance in a person, these qualities settle in your own mind.
Practice mudita when there is a choice - to rejoice for a successful person or focus on their failures. At the moment when you manage to rejoice, jealousy "lets go." The mind reaches equilibrium.
Mudita is all-encompassing joy, the ability to sincerely rejoice in the good deeds, happiness, and success of others, those who are successful, possess extraordinary qualities, or have a special ability to achieve good results.
Often, thoughts arise about such people: "Of course, he just got lucky, he doesn't deserve it." Instead of joy at a person's abilities, there is a desire to blame him for his great luck. Sometimes people do get lucky. And it cannot be said that if a person is good at something, then they are perfect in everything. But we’re talking here about the habit of ignoring a person's virtues and emphasizing their shortcomings.
It is very important to remember here: what you think about, you become. You choose what to focus on. Your essence can literally become anger, sin, or hatred - all those shortcomings you emphasize in another person. But if you see success, balance, diligence, and perseverance in a person, these qualities settle in your own mind.
Practice mudita when there is a choice - to rejoice for a successful person or focus on their failures. At the moment when you manage to rejoice, jealousy "lets go." The mind reaches equilibrium.
And the last, fourth practice - upeksha nam apunya.
This means that if someone does something bad, you do not indulge them; in fact, you resist their antisocial actions. However, within yourself, there must be a sense of detachment from the situation.
No matter what evil a person has done, hatred and a constant stream of thoughts about their actions take your own mind out of balance and plunge it into negativity.
The affirmation here is: "Internally, I am calmly indifferent to what the person has done, but externally, I will oppose his antisocial behavior and stop him."
Remember these practices; they purify the mind. With such a mind, it is easy to meditate and truly succeed in social life.
This means that if someone does something bad, you do not indulge them; in fact, you resist their antisocial actions. However, within yourself, there must be a sense of detachment from the situation.
No matter what evil a person has done, hatred and a constant stream of thoughts about their actions take your own mind out of balance and plunge it into negativity.
The affirmation here is: "Internally, I am calmly indifferent to what the person has done, but externally, I will oppose his antisocial behavior and stop him."
Remember these practices; they purify the mind. With such a mind, it is easy to meditate and truly succeed in social life.
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